I have come to realize that the way to keep some sanity in the midst of fertility troubles is all about looking far out, play a long game. A marathon, not a sprint, to use a very annoying metaphor.
It's hard not to want immediate results, and be upset when they don't come. But looking as far outward and forward as possible helps. So that every hope and dream isn't pinned on the outcome of this…
I mean, IVF obviously sucks. We know this. But there are some sneaky points that I think are overlooked in the conversation about it.
If this sounds a little jaded, I'm sorry. But I wish I had been more prepared for the pitfalls and mindfucks that go along with this hellish misadventure. And I'm not done yet!
People love statistics, and blog posts and WebMD love…
Healing is a large task. I am not sure how to begin. Part of it is the times we live in. The current pandemic is a worldwide trauma. I always want to find absolutes, universal threads, that explain hard times and tie tragedies together, so we all understand. But it doesn't work like that. We are all trapped in distinct, intertwined timelines that each fall on its own schedule. And they…
Well, there was one more piece to my miscarriage saga, and it wasn't a fun one.
I wrote that whole thing about getting through my miscarriage, but it still wasn't over. I got the all clear from my doctor after a fourth ultrasound a little while back. But five days after that I started feeling not great again, a bit more bleeding, still little twinge pains on the left side. I started feeling…
-- Note: see part two of this, because there was unfortunately more to the story! --
Goodness! You think you can just have a miscarriage and get on with your life! Not always, it turns out.
Note: there is some talk of miscarriage details here, like blood, so if that isn't your jam, perhaps give this post a miss. But note that miscarriages are a huge trial, physically and emotionally, and I'll…
A recap. This year has been a lot, for most everyone, I believe. My husband and I are fortunate to be financially stable and not to have any questions about job security in the midst of this pandemic, which I know is not a given. And I appreciated that, as my own art shows were all cancelled and my art income tanked.
But this has been a hard year. Remember a year ago, when Trump had an Iranian…
It started with my mom's cow, who lost her calf (stillborn) in a difficult calving. It got worse with the loss of my uncle this week to Covid 19. This stuff is brutal.
It is hard to wrap your wits around times like this, and losing a family member who has been taken for granted. It is surreal and seems pretend. Most days I wake up and think, that didn't really happen, did it? But sadly, here we…
In summary: shit is crazy. The protests in Portland (I live in the Portland suburbs so this is my town) are growing and amplifying, with the federal officers out with tear gas and pepper balls every night, and they have kidnapped some people off the street, even though it's outside their jurisdiction. (They are supposed to stay on Federal property,…